The debate, which many anticipated would be a dull, policy-heavy snooze-fest, took a dramatic turn when Vance accused the CBS moderators of acting as Harris campaign operatives, and things have spiraled downhill ever since.

At the heart of Vance’s lawsuit is his assertion that the CBS moderators—who he described as “Harris cheerleaders in disguise”—repeatedly fact-checked him while letting Tim Walz get away with what Vance’s camp calls “blatant misrepresentations.” According to Vance, he could barely get two sentences out before the moderators chimed in with corrections or their signature “are you sure about that?” eyebrow raise.

Vance’s legal team—led by none other than “I’ll sue anyone” attorney Rudy Giuliani—has compiled a detailed list of grievances, including:

Vance’s mic was muted at least twice during the debate when he allegedly strayed from the questions. “It was like they didn’t want me to talk about the important issues—like how we need to make school doors stronger. Why would you mute that?” Vance asked, bewildered. He claims that every time he started to “drop truth bombs,” CBS’s moderators hit the mute button, leaving him flapping his gums in silence.

While suing for media bias is far from new in today’s political climate, a $1 billion lawsuit sets a bold precedent. Many legal experts are scratching their heads, wondering if Vance’s case has legs. “Suing for $1 billion over biased moderators? That’s a tall order,” said legal analyst Nancy Wilkins. “If politicians could sue over hurt feelings every time a moderator fact-checked them, we’d have a new court case every day.”

NOTE: This is SATIRE, It’s not true.