In what can only be described as the ultimate sandwich scandal of the century, Primanti Bros., the beloved Pittsburgh-based eatery known for its famous fries-on-everything sandwiches, has found itself facing an unprecedented boycott that has resulted in a staggering $50 million in losses. To make matters worse, 10 of its major sponsors have pulled out, leaving the once-iconic restaurant chain scrambling for damage control.
It all began on what seemed like an ordinary day in North Versailles, Pennsylvania, where J.D. Vance, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, tried to make a casual stop at a local Primanti Bros. restaurant. According to several reports, Vance had planned to shake a few hands, eat a sandwich, and maybe tip the hardworking staff. Simple, right?
A manager at the restaurant reportedly told Vance and his team that this was “not a campaign stop” and that he was “not allowed” to enter the establishment. To add insult to injury, the manager allegedly threatened to call the police if Vance tried to walk through the doors. This might have been a small misunderstanding in any other situation, but this was J.D. Vance—running for the second-highest office in the country. The incident was caught on video and immediately went viral.
What started as a local dispute quickly snowballed into a full-fledged boycott, with Vance’s supporters calling for the restaurant’s patrons to stand up against what they viewed as corporate bias. Soon, it wasn’t just about the incident at North Versailles—Primanti Bros. found itself accused of political favoritism after it was revealed that Vice President Kamala Harris had visited the very same location just a few weeks earlier. And unlike Vance, she was greeted with open arms, handshakes, and photo ops.
“It’s not about the sandwiches anymore,” said one boycott supporter on social media. “It’s about standing up for fairness and showing these businesses that they can’t pick and choose which politicians they serve based on their own bias.”
NOTE: This is SATIRE, It’s not true.
